Divorce and fatherhood: Rethinking responsibility

*This article is part of a mini-series and will be supplemented by a second text with testimonials from affected fathers.

Changing nappies, doing homework, preparing the bottle: Fathers are increasingly taking on important tasks in child-rearing. However, if a couple splits up or gets divorced, the role of the father is often shaken, because according to the answer given by Justice Minister Sam Tanson (déi gréng) to a parliamentary question from MP Carole Hartmann (DP) in May 2023, the permanent residence of most children of divorced couples is still established with the mother.

There are no precise figures on the place of residence of the children concerned, but this much is clear: according to family court judges, most young children live with their mother or in alternating custody ("résidence alternée"), which has been in place since 2018. As children get older, the number of children living with their father also increases, but this figure is nowhere near that of the former category. Fathers who look after their children full-time remain the exception.

More and more fathers are taking parental leave

However, this fact does not prevent more and more men from wanting more contact with their children. While it used to be enough for most men to pay their ex-wives child support for their children, as they hardly had any time for childcare or joint activities anyway due to their work, many men now want to be more involved. Since the introduction of paternity leave, also known as "Pappecongé" (also available to same-sex couples since the draft law of July 2023), the number of people benefiting from it has risen sharply every year.

By way of comparison, while a total of 1,163 fathers took the ten days of special father's leave in 2017, this figure rose to 5,663 in 2021. Parental leave is also increasingly being taken by men: by 5,443 fathers in 2019 and 7,803 in 2023. By comparison, "only" 5,390 mothers took their parental leave in 2023. The role of the father within the family has therefore changed, even if the parents go their separate ways after a breakup or divorce.