"I didn't make the decision [to have an abortion] lightly"

I ask Marie where she would like to begin her story as we sit together on the couch in her cozy living room. Her two sons are at school, her husband is at work. "Preferably right at the beginning, " she replies, immediately followed by memories that seem to pour out of her. "I feel better now, " she will say at the end of the interview. "Sometimes it just has to come out – then I have to cry, and afterwards life can go on again." She agreed to the interview because it is important to her that women who have experienced something similar feel less alone. "Because I have never felt as lonely in my entire life as I did during that time."

It was a little over five and a half years ago, on September 5, 2020. Marie is three months pregnant with her second child. She spends the evening celebrating her wedding anniversary with her husband at a restaurant. Her firstborn son, Sam (name changed by the editorial team), who was two years old at the time, is staying overnight with his grandparents. "I still remember every detail of that day." During the following night, she develops abdominal cramps. "I told myself that everything would probably be fine, but I still called my gynecologist for reassurance." The next morning, she goes straight to the practice.